Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize