I think i sorta joined a cult last night
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
