Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
