he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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