And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize