i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
