Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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