No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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