You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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