It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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