i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
