I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
