theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
