Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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