what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
