I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
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we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
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I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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