fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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