Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
