Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
