can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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