I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear