oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink