I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
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I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.