Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.