You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving