3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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