The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
