How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize