Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize