I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
