Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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