i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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