yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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