Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
