Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
