She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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