One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He told me they were just razor bumps!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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