A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Shame - the story of my life.
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