but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
