I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
