this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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