she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
