Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
