found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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