I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
