Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
