I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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