I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
