ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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