I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
