You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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