hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
