I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
