You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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