This is not my ceiling
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
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She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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