ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
