All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you never un-have a 4some
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
