why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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