That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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