how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
