I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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