may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it's like iHOP with fire
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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