i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
