If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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