I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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