i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize